Jal me kya rakha hai?

Jal lijiye na, gala sookh jayega blog padhte padhte. Up until now, we have been talking about several simple as well as complex health-related topics. Today, I’m here simply to offer you a glass of water.

How thoughtful of me to offer you a glass of water except, I can’t practically hand you, right? Go grab one for yourself and settle down to listen to me blabber about water.

Now that you have that glass of water in your hand, I would like to ask if this is your first glass of water for the day. Oh, I’m glad to be on the same page as you. I mean, who needs water, right? Water’s boring!

There are experts that say you should be flooding your bodies with at least a couple of litres of water a day. This creates a never-ending cycle of drinking and peeing. I know you’d rather drown in the same water than let it flush toxins out of your body. 

Every once in a while you stop to think how many glasses of water you’ve had in the day and you end up realising, “chullu bhar pani bhi nahi piya hai”. Forget about those who say you should drink 2-3 litres of water a day.

Who among us remembers to drink water first thing in the morning? Congratulations, you are not the only person to be forgetful of that. Besides, who needs to be in an exemplary mood, have improved brain functioning, and boosted energy levels that early in the morning? Not us, for sure.

I’d also be surprised to know that you usually remember to drink an apt amount of water before, during, and after exercising. Why replenish your body with lost fluids while exercising? Or wait, do you even exercise? Eh! What’s the need to be active when you can be sluggish all day and laze around comfortably?

Somebody once suggested I drink water before having my meals. Why? I’d avoid overeating and eventually lose weight. I mean, I’m comfortable with those love handles on my lower back. Also, I’d rather drink water while eating, to gulp the food I don’t like, which is the one time they say I shouldn’t be drinking water (eye-roll).

When I had a stomach bug, the doctor suggested that I should drink plenty of water. I mean, what does water have to do with my stomach bug? Why would he want me to take frequent trips to the washroom that would leave me feeling weak and dehydrated?

Those of you who carry water bottles around when out, I suppose you are just concerned about the environment, given all the plastic waste. But, you are certainly not concerned about constipated bowels and unregulated blood pressure. Meanwhile, those of you who do carry bottles, do you make use of them or do you just carry water to show off your fancy water bottle? (hair flip)

You’d be squirming in your seat by now, to know when you should be drinking water. Spit it out for god’s sake, you must think. Well, the simple answer to the water-drinking question is, “Drink when you’re thirsty”.

A groundbreaking discovery only I can come up with, by the way! Because honestly, who has the time to measure how much water they drink in a day? I don’t. But, some experts say you should be drinking about 2 to 3 litres of water a day.

But, when you can simply put your common sense to use, why pressure your brain with all the counting? The key is to not let the thirst go unnoticed or not be lazy to get up and get a glass of water. That is what leads to problems.

For some of us addicted to gassy liquids, you can live off them until you can. And for those who try to make you feel like a withering plant that would die without water, perhaps you can give them a gentle reminder and offer them a can of your favourite soda and show them that your body is fully capable of surviving without water.

Hydration is overrated anyway, right?